I actually like the tectonic quality of the final built screen more than the strange eggshell-like structure in the renderings, which felt sort of overly fussy.
I do also agree that more should have been done with the building, as the underlying building's still a jumbled mess behind the screen. Don't know what they could have done on a budget, but maybe specifying a dark paneling for the ground floor walls could have helped?
I wonder if painting the columns black could help in reducing their visual prominence and disturbance of the horizontal flows?